


The Happiest Day of Laverne's Life

by Nocturnalist (CaptainJack)



Category: Haven - Fandom
Genre: M/M, Multi, OT3, Porn with Feelings, Sex in a box, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-16
Updated: 2015-06-16
Packaged: 2018-04-04 15:51:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,168
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4143579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainJack/pseuds/Nocturnalist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Audrey's got a plan and she's gonna need Laverne's help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pancakes vs. Waffles

Audrey woke up to the sound of to men in a verbal fist fight. It quickly became evident who it was between and what it was about.

"Lies! How dare you dis pancakes like that! They are obviously what ambrosia tastes like!" Nathan yelled.

"You are just wrong my friend, waffles are clearly a hundred times better!" Duke shouted back. By this time Audrey had gotten up and was standing in the doorway in her PJ's.

"Shut up both of you!" she screamed at the top of her lungs. The hole bar fell silent. "You're both wrong, the best breakfast food is obviously baken. However, if you take pancake mix and you cook it in a waffle iron the result is a moderately close second," she announced.

"Sacrilege!" Nathan and Duke whispered simultaneously.

"Do you really want to take me on before I've had my morning coffee especially when you were the ones who woke me up?" she asked. They both shook their heads violently. "Wise men," she said and disappeared up the stairs.

"Well that was terrifying," Duke said quietly.

"I'm gonna have to agree with you on that one," Nathan said.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The little breakfast fiasco that morning was just another example of why she needed to get those two in a confined space together and make them think that they're not going to survive the experience. She'd have to talk to Laverne.


	2. Two Men in a Box

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Laverne and Audrey's dreem comes true.

Laverne had said that Audrey had gone out to this abandoned ranch early that morning and hadn't called in since. She'd also been the one to insist that Nathan bring Duke with him. 

"Why am I here again?" Duke asked. 

"Because Laverne thinks something has happened to Audrey and refused to tell me where until I promised to take you with me. And you know that Laverne would know if I lied and would intentionally give me all the worst calls," Nathan said, "So here you are acting as back-up while I go find out what happened to Audrey." They rolled up the driveway and saw Audrey's rental parked just ahead of them. Nathan put a finger to his lips and pointed at the open door of a shipping container not far from the house. They made their way quickly and quietly to the container and stepped inside. No sooner had they both fully entered than the conainer doors were shut and locked behind them. A note was slipped through one of the air holes in the container. It was made from newspaper clippings and said. 

                                                                              ** _Your friend Audrey just secured her reliece, but she doesn't know you're here and I don't see why I shouldn't just kill you. I think I'll wait though, I want to see your pitiful attempts to escape. You have until sunset and then I either kill you or let you out depending on what my mood is._**

"That's comforting," Nathan said. It was only noon so they spent the first few hours trying to escape. 

"Why do you hate me so much Nathan?" Duke asked at around four o'clock when they had exausted all the means they could think of to escape and where just sitting facing each other at one end of the container. 

"Because you left me," Nathan said, "You were the only guy in town who was even remotely bi and you just skipped town and left me alone here."

"I didn't realize I was the only one," Duke said, a look of horror on his face, "If I'd known I would have done something differently."

"I know, I just find it hard to forgive you for all those years alone," Nathan said quietly. Duke got up and came over to cradle Nathan against his chest. Nathan was shaking. "Duke, I feel you," he said in awe, "I didn't feel you before, but now I do!"

"Well, you know what we have to do about that don't you," Duke said wiggling his eyebrows. 

"You're such a slut Duke," Nathan said slipping his hands under Duke's shirt. 

"You know you love it," Duke retorted, "Besides, if we're gonna die tonight wouldn't you wrather go out with your dick up my ass than sitting here depressed and for all intents and purposes alone?"

"Much," Nathan replied before returning his mouth to Duke's neck where he was intently making a hicky. 

"We are wearing  _far_ too many clothes," Duke said a little breathlessly. All he got in responce was a veuge hum of agreement. They quickly stripped and made a sort of bed out of the discarded clothing. Nathan put three fingers in Duke's mouth and let him suck on them for a while. Then he pulled them out and stuck one of them up Duke's ass. Duke gasped and he inadvertanty clenched around Nathan's finger. Nathan slowly began to move his finger and streched Duke out enough to be able to handle a second finger. He pushed this one in quickly aswell, enjoying the way Duke tightened up again around his fingers. Eventually he got Duke stretched out enough to be able to accept his dick. He pushed it in quickly like he had done with his fingers and almost came then and there because not only could he feel his dick for the first time in a long time, but Duke had clenched around it like he had his fingers. That was ultimately what kept it from all being over there and then was that Duke's sphinkter acted like a cock ring ao Nathan awsn't  _able_ to come. They stayed like that for a little while and then Nathan started moving. 

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Audrey was leaning aganst the outside of the container masterbating to the sound of the two men having sex inside. The sound Nathan made as he came was all it took to send both Audrey and Duke over the edge. She resisted the urge to slip into post coitle sleep the way the two inside were only be extreem force of will. She quietly got up and went to get her car which she had pulled farther down the driveway to give the impression of herself leaving. She was really glad she'd decided to bring her bolt cutters with her. 

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Duke and Nathan woke to the sound of bolt cutters. They weren't quite awake enough to think of putting clothes back on, but Nathan did grab his gun. The door opened to reviel Audrey who just stood there stairing at them. That was when they remembered that they were naked and that their limbs were tangled together suggestively. Before they had a chance to get aquward Audrey said, "That is probably the hottest thing I've ever seen especially since this means you're both bi." 

"What?" Duke asked, totally lost. 

"This is what my wet dreams look like," Audrey said simply, "Except if I were dreaming I would be wearing a lot fewer clothes." The boys blinked at her. "Come on," she said sighing, "We should probably inform the Chief that you're alive."


End file.
